this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize