i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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