I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
