Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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