Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
