im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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