god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
