He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
