Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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