I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize