I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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