I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
