I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
don't judge my taste in strippers
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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