Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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