Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
