I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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