I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
third nipple confirmed
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
