There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
