Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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