I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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