fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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