her vagine was all disorganized.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't deserve a penis
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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