i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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