All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
