whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
