So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
