he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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