No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
