I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
kristin has been a bad kristin
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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