hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Can Purell be used as lube?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
