We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize