does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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