so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
COCAINE IS GR8
The Olympian is in my bed
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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