I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
