Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
