Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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