he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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