you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize