y did u give ur computer a hand job?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
