i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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