Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
