Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
