I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
