She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
