smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They took my balls.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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