he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
