the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize