I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
