He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
