According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You dont lie about slip and slides
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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