Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
