I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
