Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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