I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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