Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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