wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
