i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
