the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
