I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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